Author: Angela Semwogerere
Almost four and a half years ago, like most 26 year olds, life seemed to be fairly good. I had a job, great friends, amazing family, could afford to pay bills, so I could honestly say that I was fairly happy with the life I had created for myself. However towards the last quarter of 2006 I started to develop a nagging pain in my lower back. I did not think anything of it and simply resorted to taking mild pain killers whenever the pain really got to me. After all, what should I expect when I sit in front of the PC all day?
However, by the end of December the pain had started really becoming more than the usual nagging pain and the mild pain killers did not seem to have the same effect they previously had. So I made a decision to pay the doctor a visit right after I had had my very Merry Christmas.
The year started off in an unexpected manner as one doctor’s appointment turned out to be more than ten visits to half a dozen different doctors and specialists. In just four weeks my back problem had deteriorated so much that by the end of the January I was not able to sit up straight for more than 10 minutes without needing some sort of support. This is because the muscles in my back where not able to support me anymore.
My days were spent visiting doctors and specialists, getting new prescriptions, injections, tests etc. When I was not out at some hospital I was either lying down with my back flat against my bedroom floor or I would be seated outside on my Grandparents balcony with my back against the wall overlooking the city contemplating, praying, reading my bible and wondering what the healthy people where doing?
But on this particular day I underwent what is commonly known as “Hitting Rock Bottom.” All kinds of thoughts were running through my mind. I had not showed up for work for more than a month and the thought of being relieved of my duties was overwhelming.
My bank account was drained from all the medical bills I had incurred along with so many challenges.
“I’m only 26 years old” I thought. This can’t be happening to me; I have my whole life ahead of me. How can I spend the rest of my life depressed, broke, sick and confined to my bedroom floor with no hope? Although had tried my very best to fight depression, on that day I gave up the fight.
So here I was depressed, in pain, broke and tired of my life with one particular question lingering in my mind. HOW DID I GET HERE????????
At the end of February when it seemed nothing else could be done by the doctors here I ended up miraculously getting a free air ticket to South Africa for further investigations but that’s another story altogether. When I arrived in South Africa, I stayed with my Uncle who happens to be a Doctor and he had made all the MRI, X-Ray and physical exam appointments for the next day. As it turned out the some of the muscles in my back had collapsed from a fall I had had a year ago. I was so relieved that I was going to be able fully recover and was prescribed to two months of physiotherapy.
Although a part of me was relieved that my health was improving, my mind was confined to a distractive thought pattern. I kept having thoughts like “I’m sure by the time I get back home I will be unemployed, and then I won’t be able to afford anything and then I won’t be able to get anything I needed, and then, and then, and then,” on and on I went into a downward spiral of negative thoughts. But thank God for my dear Auntie who thrives on a positive attitude. One day when I did not have to go for treatment she sat me down and asked me to face all my fears. She simply asked me “What is the worst thing that could happen?” When I deeply analyzed this question I realized that my fears were just that. They were fears and not the reality. Just like the bogeyman that frightens a child but disappears the minute you turn on the light, so does fear the minutes you confront it and face it head on.
FEAR is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. At that precise moment I made a conscious choice to change my thinking pattern and to believe that I had a great life ahead of me. When I returned home, my employers had been gracious and kind enough to welcome me back to work. I continued to think positively.
Shortly after settling into work my cousin invited me to go watch the movie “The Secret.” The Secret really woke me up. Obtaining this type of revelation and knowledge that, “I was in fact in charge and responsible for creating my life” was a bitter pill to swallow. All along I had blamed everything and everyone for everything that had gone on in my life.
It was then that I started to do more research on positive living, power of thoughts, goal setting etc and have studied and read materials by Authors like Jack Canfield, Zig Ziglar, Myles Munroe, Dr. Phil etc... I immediately started to set goals, create vision boards and maintain a positive attitude daily.
Three months after my return to my job, I was employed by a company and I had dreamed and prayed to work for, my Salary was tripled and presently, I have started a Training Business to go train corporations, schools and individuals about the life lessons I learnt. And today due to the change in my thought pattern as well as having a clear vision of where I am going I live a much happier life and have big dreams that I see coming to true each passing day.
-by Angela Semwogerere